Okay to preface, I'm not gonna lie. I missed the most recent viewing of this episode on ABC Family, but since I've seen the entire series ad nauseum, I feel pretty comfortable with recapping this episode sans viewing. Unfortunately, I won't be able to produce all the witty quotes and recap the horrendous outfits, but the last recap was so verbose, I figured it couldn't hurt to throw out a CliffNotes version FH recap.
Anyway, so following the pilot, the 3 men are ready to tackle the joys of shared parenthood. But almost immediately trouble arises because all 3 men have their respective job responsibilities to attend to and someone needs to watch the girls. Danny has to cover a sporting event, Jesse has band practice and Joey miraculously has one of his few and far between stand-up gigs (which surprises NO ONE on account of how painfully unfunny Joey is). Ultimately, they decided Jesse's plans are least important and he gets saddled with the responsibility of babysitting.
I just want to take a moment to comment on the fact that Jesse actually has a steady job and thus provides a steady income to apply to the support of the Tanner household as he also works as an exterminator. I mean, I guess since it's one of the 5 nights a year Joey can actually get paid for his hack routine, they ought to let him have it so he can actually earn his place in the alcove. It cracks me up that he doesn't even have an actual room, but a mere nook. I mean, that's all he deserves really, but it's funny nonetheless.
Another tangent I'd like to go on at this point is how when the series began, Jesse's name was "Jesse Cochran." This was a detail that escaped me when I was a youngun, but I just love how they change his surname from "Cochran" to "Katsopolis" without even batting an eye or drawing even the slightest bit of attention to it. I almost wish they incorporated some sort of outdated storyline about embarassment about Greek heritage, or even maybe that Jesse didn't feel like "Katsopolis" was very "rock & roll." But no, much like the unexplained disappearance of Brendan Lambert from the final season of "Step By Step" or Judy Winslow after the fifth season of "Family Matters," it was glossed over. Must of been a TGIF thing, to not really worry about things like "continuity." Side note: Apparently they decided on the last name "Cochran" because one of the writers or producers or whomever was a huge Joe Cocker fan and since Jesse was a musician, a temporary surname was born.
But, I digress. Jesse gets stuck watching the girls, and rather than skip band practice because music is his life (remember this mentality in later seasons...), he reschedules and has the band come rehearse at the Tanner household. Despite trying to practice unplugged, the band starts rocking out and obviously the girls wake up. They come down and work their manipulative magic on their poor Uncle Jess and trick him into letting them stay up with the group. They order pizza and get their hair sprayed purple by one of the chicks in the band, I think her name was Raven.
Side Note! (Side note to the side note, I'm only doing so many of these because I didn't get to watch this episode as recently, so I'm just going on memory and therefore lacking in detail, so I need filler.) Anywho, when I was a kid I was literally OBSESSED with that colored hairspray. You see, I was a completely idiotic child who didn't realize how freaking sweet it was to have red hair (when you're young, being different is bad, so I went through like a 3 year phase of hating my red hair. It happened to correspond with my transition from the cool popular group to a nerd, and I probably blamed my hair for it. It was really due in part to the fact that I had just gotten glasses and was a tub o' lard.) So yeah, this was when the whole goth/punk/grunge movement was starting around the time I was in middle school and I used to walk to the Wayside Bazaar to buy colored hairspray (fluorescent red) and would spray two streaks in the front of my hair and thought I was sooooooo cool. But I wasn't. And the point is, D.J. and Stephanie also look ridiculous with their spray on purple hair... but I totally can remember being their age and thinking that stuff was the shit.
Joey comes home and joins the party. He is so responsible.
Naturally Danny comes home and flips. After sending the girls to their room, he rips Jesse a new one for being so irresponsible and goes so far as to threaten to kick him out. He eventually deduces that the girls pulled a fast one on poor simple-minded Uncle Jesse, and punishes them and the three all apologize to Jesse. And I mean, yeah, the girls were totally abusing Uncle Jesse because he tries to be hip and cool and doesn't have a lot of experience acting as a parental authority, but you have to lay some blame on him. I mean, you're a grown-ass man and you got duped by a 5 and a 10-year old! Seriously? As every episode goes, everything is resolved with a hug and the music swelling and we've made it through our first hour.
I promise the next recap will be more detailed.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Thursday, November 15, 2007
"Hey! Shut up!" or, Our Very First Show (Pilot)
Ugh, why does the show have to open on one of the Olsen twins ugly mugs? I'm sorry, but they were homely as hell when they were on this show.
Ah, the opening theme song. My favorite part about the pilot episode is that they play Jesse Frederick and Bennett Salvay's lyrical genius in all its glory. Those guys OWNED the late 80s and early 90s. In addition to "Everywhere You Look," they also co-wrote the theme songs for "Perfect Strangers," "Family Matters" and "Step By Step." If you were composing a cheesy family sitcom in this time period, they were the go-to guys.
The pilot kicks off with Claire (in the first of like, 5 different actress incarnations) leaving Danny and the girls. Granny Tanny, as she's otherwise known, moved in to help run the household after the demise of Danny's wife Pam. The girls are sad and DJ brats about having to share a room with Stephanie. Danny exposits that Uncle Jesse and his friend Joey will be moving in to help out around the house.
Aaaaand cue former soap hottie/current "ER" star John Stamos in all his mulleted glory. Thus begins my countdown til the episode where Stephanie accidentally rids him of that follicle disaster. It cracks me up how Jesse is like the spokesmodel for Harley Davidson these first few seasons. When Danny asks why Jesse missed breakast, he launches into his wild night with a showgirl and is cut off by Danny right before he gives all the scandalous details in front of his young nieces. Jodie Sweetin is impossibly cute these first few seasons before her nose outgrew her face.
Ugh. Cue Joey the dumbass. How can a comedian be so unfunny? Although DJ is a major brat in the beginning of the series before becoming such a pious and sanctimonious teenager, I do love how unamused she is by all of Joey's antics. "Do you think we can catch Grandma in the airport?" Right on, Deej.
They show Jesse to his room and we are introduced to the infamous pink bunnies. We are then informed that Danny is a "lean, mean hugging machine." How will this mulleted, motorcycling tough guy handle this straightlaced, hugging neatfreak? WACKINESS.
Across the hall, DJ is laying down the ground rules for her new roommate Stephanie. She implements the classic divide the room in half and Stephanie "climbs" across the curtains, only to be sent back where she started. The three guys enter the girls' room. More Joey being stupid and hated. Danny tells them he has to work at the station and leaves the two bachelor's with zero parenting experience to care for his 3 young daughters. Clearly hijinx and hilarity are to ensue.
Joey and Jesse go to the nursery to check on a crying Michelle. When she won't stop, Jesse screams "Hey! Shut Up!" Why couldn't he say this more often when Michelle learns to talk and becomes an enormous brat? Joey launches into all of his lame imitations and gags in an attempt to stop the crying to no avail. Finally, the two brain surgeons deduce that maybe the baby needs to be changed. Oh jeez, here comes the aforementioned hijinx.
Side note: What is with the inability of all sitcom characters to properly change a diaper? I don't have kids, but it's not exactly rocket science. It's not a Rubik's cube! You fold it over and stick the tabs together. I mean, I guess it's supposed to be funny, but it just makes the characters look like idiots.
Using the sink spray to clean her? Seriously? No baby wipes? Then they use paper towels and a plastic bag to fashion a diaper? After the two morons bundle the baby in Bounty and plastic, Stephanie cutely suggests that next time they try using an actual diaper. They chastise her for not telling them about the diapers sooner, but it's like Seriously guys? You thought that there wouldn't be any diapers in a house with an infant? I mean, did they even try and look for them? They were right behind the kitchen counter on a chair! Again, supposed to be funny, but they just look stupid.
Danny comes home to a tornado of baby clothes and the family, minus DJ sprawled on the living room couch. Super Baby-sitters of the year and Danny are both surprised to hear that Deej moved out of the bedroom she shares with Stephanie. Steph directs Danny to her new room in the garage where she's talking to Kimmy Gibbler who called her from "her own phone in her own room." Danny tries to scold DJ into moving back to the house. Joey goes a different route. Namely, a Bill Cosby impersonation. The hell? How would that persuade her to move back in? Danny needs to check on the baby and Joey's an idiot, so that leaves it up to Jesse. He has his showgirl Vanessa waiting so in order to expedite the process, pays Deej $21 to move back in. Danny inadvertantly drove Vanessa out of the house and Jesse demands his money back.
Danny tries one last ditch effort to keep DJ in the house. It's time for the sentimental family moment. The sappy music swells, as Danny asks how Pam would have handled the situation. DJ admits that she feels like she's losing everything. First her mom died, then Grandma moved out, and now she's losing the independence of having her own room. I guess that's a lot for a ten-year old to take, so I forgive the brattiness for the time being. They tug at our heartstrings and finally agree to give this new living arrangement a shot.
Danny and the girls come back to the living room to see Jesse cooing at Michelle in baby talk. Embarassed, he immediately reverts back to the tough guy image. Michelle makes some noise which Danny tells us is her bastardized version of "singing." Despite the fact that Jesse is the musician of the group, Joey sidles over to the playpen saying "Music? I'll handle this," and launches into the "Flinstones" theme song. The hell? God, I hate Joey more and more on repeat viewings of this show. I think when I was a kid, I used to totally dig the whole "Cut. It. Out." bit too. We end on Stephanie yelling "Wilma!" and the entire family dissolving into giggles as we fade to black.
Ah, the opening theme song. My favorite part about the pilot episode is that they play Jesse Frederick and Bennett Salvay's lyrical genius in all its glory. Those guys OWNED the late 80s and early 90s. In addition to "Everywhere You Look," they also co-wrote the theme songs for "Perfect Strangers," "Family Matters" and "Step By Step." If you were composing a cheesy family sitcom in this time period, they were the go-to guys.
The pilot kicks off with Claire (in the first of like, 5 different actress incarnations) leaving Danny and the girls. Granny Tanny, as she's otherwise known, moved in to help run the household after the demise of Danny's wife Pam. The girls are sad and DJ brats about having to share a room with Stephanie. Danny exposits that Uncle Jesse and his friend Joey will be moving in to help out around the house.
Aaaaand cue former soap hottie/current "ER" star John Stamos in all his mulleted glory. Thus begins my countdown til the episode where Stephanie accidentally rids him of that follicle disaster. It cracks me up how Jesse is like the spokesmodel for Harley Davidson these first few seasons. When Danny asks why Jesse missed breakast, he launches into his wild night with a showgirl and is cut off by Danny right before he gives all the scandalous details in front of his young nieces. Jodie Sweetin is impossibly cute these first few seasons before her nose outgrew her face.
Ugh. Cue Joey the dumbass. How can a comedian be so unfunny? Although DJ is a major brat in the beginning of the series before becoming such a pious and sanctimonious teenager, I do love how unamused she is by all of Joey's antics. "Do you think we can catch Grandma in the airport?" Right on, Deej.
They show Jesse to his room and we are introduced to the infamous pink bunnies. We are then informed that Danny is a "lean, mean hugging machine." How will this mulleted, motorcycling tough guy handle this straightlaced, hugging neatfreak? WACKINESS.
Across the hall, DJ is laying down the ground rules for her new roommate Stephanie. She implements the classic divide the room in half and Stephanie "climbs" across the curtains, only to be sent back where she started. The three guys enter the girls' room. More Joey being stupid and hated. Danny tells them he has to work at the station and leaves the two bachelor's with zero parenting experience to care for his 3 young daughters. Clearly hijinx and hilarity are to ensue.
Joey and Jesse go to the nursery to check on a crying Michelle. When she won't stop, Jesse screams "Hey! Shut Up!" Why couldn't he say this more often when Michelle learns to talk and becomes an enormous brat? Joey launches into all of his lame imitations and gags in an attempt to stop the crying to no avail. Finally, the two brain surgeons deduce that maybe the baby needs to be changed. Oh jeez, here comes the aforementioned hijinx.
Side note: What is with the inability of all sitcom characters to properly change a diaper? I don't have kids, but it's not exactly rocket science. It's not a Rubik's cube! You fold it over and stick the tabs together. I mean, I guess it's supposed to be funny, but it just makes the characters look like idiots.
Using the sink spray to clean her? Seriously? No baby wipes? Then they use paper towels and a plastic bag to fashion a diaper? After the two morons bundle the baby in Bounty and plastic, Stephanie cutely suggests that next time they try using an actual diaper. They chastise her for not telling them about the diapers sooner, but it's like Seriously guys? You thought that there wouldn't be any diapers in a house with an infant? I mean, did they even try and look for them? They were right behind the kitchen counter on a chair! Again, supposed to be funny, but they just look stupid.
Danny comes home to a tornado of baby clothes and the family, minus DJ sprawled on the living room couch. Super Baby-sitters of the year and Danny are both surprised to hear that Deej moved out of the bedroom she shares with Stephanie. Steph directs Danny to her new room in the garage where she's talking to Kimmy Gibbler who called her from "her own phone in her own room." Danny tries to scold DJ into moving back to the house. Joey goes a different route. Namely, a Bill Cosby impersonation. The hell? How would that persuade her to move back in? Danny needs to check on the baby and Joey's an idiot, so that leaves it up to Jesse. He has his showgirl Vanessa waiting so in order to expedite the process, pays Deej $21 to move back in. Danny inadvertantly drove Vanessa out of the house and Jesse demands his money back.
Danny tries one last ditch effort to keep DJ in the house. It's time for the sentimental family moment. The sappy music swells, as Danny asks how Pam would have handled the situation. DJ admits that she feels like she's losing everything. First her mom died, then Grandma moved out, and now she's losing the independence of having her own room. I guess that's a lot for a ten-year old to take, so I forgive the brattiness for the time being. They tug at our heartstrings and finally agree to give this new living arrangement a shot.
Danny and the girls come back to the living room to see Jesse cooing at Michelle in baby talk. Embarassed, he immediately reverts back to the tough guy image. Michelle makes some noise which Danny tells us is her bastardized version of "singing." Despite the fact that Jesse is the musician of the group, Joey sidles over to the playpen saying "Music? I'll handle this," and launches into the "Flinstones" theme song. The hell? God, I hate Joey more and more on repeat viewings of this show. I think when I was a kid, I used to totally dig the whole "Cut. It. Out." bit too. We end on Stephanie yelling "Wilma!" and the entire family dissolving into giggles as we fade to black.
Our Very First Blog
Whatever happened to predictability,
The Milkman, the Paperboy, evening TV?
You miss your old familiar friends
Waiting just around the bend!
Everywhere you look
Everywhere you go
There's a heart (There's a heart)
A hand to hold on to
Everywhere you look
Everywhere you go
There's a face
Of somebody who needs you.
Eveywhere you look
When you're lost out there and you're all alone,
A light is waiting to carry you home,
Everywhere you look.
Everywhere you look.
If you, like me, can recite these lyrics at the drop of a hat. If you used to always tune into TGIF to catch the latest happenings in the Tanner household. If you now dedicate a significant portion of your afternoons catching the syndicated re-runs on ABC Family, then this blog is for you. Inspired by other blogs I read that recap other treasures of my youth, I have decided to start up a blog chronicling the life and times of Danny, Jesse, Joey, DJ, Stephanie, Michelle, Kimmy, Rebecca, Steve, Nicky & Alex and all of the other annoyingly sunshiney characters of this early 90s classic television show. I mean, I watch it every day. I might as well start writing about it.
The Milkman, the Paperboy, evening TV?
You miss your old familiar friends
Waiting just around the bend!
Everywhere you look
Everywhere you go
There's a heart (There's a heart)
A hand to hold on to
Everywhere you look
Everywhere you go
There's a face
Of somebody who needs you.
Eveywhere you look
When you're lost out there and you're all alone,
A light is waiting to carry you home,
Everywhere you look.
Everywhere you look.
If you, like me, can recite these lyrics at the drop of a hat. If you used to always tune into TGIF to catch the latest happenings in the Tanner household. If you now dedicate a significant portion of your afternoons catching the syndicated re-runs on ABC Family, then this blog is for you. Inspired by other blogs I read that recap other treasures of my youth, I have decided to start up a blog chronicling the life and times of Danny, Jesse, Joey, DJ, Stephanie, Michelle, Kimmy, Rebecca, Steve, Nicky & Alex and all of the other annoyingly sunshiney characters of this early 90s classic television show. I mean, I watch it every day. I might as well start writing about it.
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