"The little goofball worships me!" or Aftershocks (3.11)

Jesse and Joey are in Jesse's room jamming out wearing dark glasses like some sort of bastardized Blues Brothers. Jesse is playing the ol' six string and Joey is playing the harmonica. I must point out that Joey is also wearing a beret, not that that wardrobe choice should surprise any of you. Just then, who should wander in but UgTot, who demands they play her the teapot song. They oblige with a bluesy version of "I'm a Little Teapot" and Jesse urges Michelle to "shake her little tushy." Please, I beg of you, no more. The Powers that be hear my cry and we thankfully cut to the credits.

Jesse is trying to discover what's clogging the garbage disposal and asks Ug how her toy Gumby got jammed in there. Ug hasn't a clue (of course) and predictably, Joey thanks Jesse for finding his toy. DJ and Kimmy come in, DJ showing off her costume for the school's Christmas pageant. Kimmy has apparently been staying at the Tanner's for the past two days while her house is under repairs. Joey informs her that she can go home, pointing out that she could have actually moved back yesterday but somehow, Mrs. Gibbler forgot to call. J&J are glad to be rid of the Gibbler, and already have her bags packed. UgTot comes running in and throws her arms around Kimmy, begging her to stay one more night. The hell? Kimmy's staying, DJ models her costume which Joey creepily compliments ("If I had a belly that shook like a bowl of jelly, you'd be my kind of woman") and I die a little inside.

Stephanie points out that DJ has a new pimple on her nose and DJ is distraught. Kimmy suggests that DJ switch roles with someone and play Rudolph. Stephanie comments her distress that first there was an earthquake (remember that) and now, Kimmy's staying an extra night. Later that night, Stephanie is awoken by the sounds and vibrations of a garbage truck and panics that it's another earthquake. She shakes DJ awake and DJ and Kimmy tell Stephanie to chill out. Steph goes to Ug's room to make sure she's alright and coerces her into going into Danny's room with her. They climb into bed with Danny.

Kimmy leads DJ down the stairs, because she's sporting the Cousin Itt look with all of her hair brushed forward to cover her face. She even has a pair of sunglasses on top. Joey calls her Benji (I assume he's referring to the courageous and adorable puppy of cinematic fame, which, dumb. Because she totally looks like Cousin Itt) and tells her the zit isn't that bad.



Stephanie comes in, literally clinging to Danny and asking to tag along to work with him and showering him with compliments. Danny says that she has to go to work, but they'll spend time together after work. Joey and Jesse are concerned with Stephanie's sudden increase in fatherly affections and wonder if Danny's noticed how clingy she's being. Danny says there's nothing wrong with a little girl adoring her father and thinks nothing of it.

After school, Stephanie is in a panicked tizzy because Danny isn't home yet. J&J tell her that he's probably stuck in traffic and she yells that they don't know that for sure. Danny comes home, late because of, you guessed it, traffic, and Stephanie hugs him and won't let him go. She wants to play games and accompany him on his business dinner. Danny gently tries to tell her no and Stephanie becomes very upset and cries and begs for him not to leave her. J&J give Danny a total "I told you so" look and finally, Danny gets it. Something's up with Steph.

Up in Danny's room, Danny is playing Barrel of Monkeys with Stephanie and UgTot. To the surprise of no one, Ug is too stupid to grasp the concept of the game, and Danny pulls Stephanie aside for a special one-on-one talk. Danny asks her why she was so upset about him going out, and why she's been clinging to him, and asks if something is bothering her. She insists she's fine and he wonders if that means she won't be spending the night in his room (not like THAT, you pervs!) Stephanie is insistent that nothing is wrong and she returns back to the game.

DJ comes back from the pageant and is relieved to have discovered that everyone has zits. While checking "to see if [her] nose can still stop traffic", she found 10 other girls checking their zits. DJ suggests a game of connect the dots and all the crater faced bitches laughed. DJ says she's okay with having zits, so long as her face clears up before her peers. Jesse congratulates himself on helping DJ through her crisis until Joey reminds him that they didn't actually do anything.

Danny comes down and says that his talk with Stephanie went nowhere and J&J suggest that he bring her to a therapist. Danny is against it because he feels like it's not that serious and bringing her to a stranger shows he can't help his own daughter. Jesse points out that it shows that he loves her enough to get her the help she needs. As a future Mental Health counselor, thanks for the plug, boys!

Danny brings Steph into therapy, and we get a pointless scene of a homely bucktoothed girl, who may or may not be a little slow, telling Stephanie that therapy is fun because you get to miss school. The therapist asks Stephanie to draw a picture of her family and remarks to Danny how verbal she is. Danny babbles on and on about not knowing where she gets it, and the therapist sure as shit knows where it comes from.

While Stephanie draws, Danny dusts the therapist's table and she tells him that we don't always know why we are doing the things we do and asks why he's dusting. Danny confesses that growing up, all the other kids wanted to be astronauts or firemen... he wanted to be a maid. Before the therapist gets to tackle the enigmatic mind of Danny Tanner, Stephanie finishes her drawing. Everything is pretty typical except there's a crack in the house from the earthquake, and Danny is outside the house from the rest of the family because he was late the day of the earthquake. Well, that solves the mystery of Stephanie's clinginess. She was scared that she didn't know where he was.

As a constant neurotic worrier, it's kind of hard for me to snark on Stephanie because I was totally the same way as a kid. To this day, I make my friends call me when they get home safely because otherwise I'll worry. The therapist suggests Danny and Stephanie make a list of ways to help cope with the worry and anxiety of separation and if only therapy was really that simple, and all issues that easily resolved. Notice how we never hear about another earthquake for the duration of the series.

That night the entire family is tucking Stephanie into bed. Danny tells her that if she needs to, her sleeping bag is still in his room. She asks if he's still snoring and Danny says he is, so Stephanie will spend the night in her own room. Jesse laughs about Danny's snoring. The guys remind Steph that they're close by should she need anything and everyone says goodnight. We end with Stephanie asking DJ to untuck her, because she can barely move. I hate when they end episodes on weird unfunny but supposed to be funny bits like that.