Friday, April 11, 2008

"Alright, a nickel! Alright, a Cheeto!" or Stephanie Gets Framed (4.16)

Ug brushing her teeth. Spitting in Danny's hand. Yuck. Why? Who thought this would be cute? It's not! It's pointless... and kind of gross. Just open with credits, no one needs this inane scene!

More Ug! When will it end? She's attempting to yo-yo, but can't make it pop back up. DJ comes in and tells her that since she's opened her own savings account, she's giving her her old piggy bank. Ug brats that there's no money and DJ advises her to make cute faces (impossible, I know) and go up to people and say, "Please feed my piggy." She tries it on DJ and she gives her a quarter. Deej, I thought you were better than that.

Stephanie comes in with a note from her teacher for Danny to sign. Apparently she's been having trouble reading and her teacher suggests that she should get her eyes checked because she might need glasses. Ruh roh, nerd alert! (Save the hate mail and please note that as indicated in the photo to the left, I have glasses so just chill the fuck out, my hypersensitive bespectacled readers).

Wedding planning in the kitchen. They decide that the waiters at the reception should wear white gloves and ugh. Really? Why? Jesse thinks that was the final decision they needed to make and Becky gently reminds him that he needs to select a best man. Becky puts Jesse on the spot by calling the other guys into the kitchen and forcing him to make a decision. Jesse doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings and ultimately selects Joey.

Later, Danny is singing "Hang down your head, Tom Dooley" and "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot" and guilting the shit out of Jesse. They are interrupted by DJ and her token black friend Julie, running in trying to avoid Julie's cousin Steve. It turns out to be none other than "Family Matters" stud, Steve Urkel. Jesse and Danny try to derail him, and Steve totally calls Danny on his (non)best man bitterness.

Jesse tells Steve that he can't help but notice that he walks like the hanger is still in his shirt and resurrects his lecture on "the strut" from last episode. Steve begins to launch into his life story and Danny and Jesse point him in the direction of DJ and Julie because they can't take the Urkel anymore.

Joey comes in with Stephanie and her new glasses, and she's majorly bummed. She thinks that the compliments she's receiving are just because they're her family. Her self-deprecating views cause Jesse to feel some insecurities about his own dweebiness in glasses. I have to say, those are some pretty fug frames she's toting, but such were the times. I can't say that my first pair was really at the height of fashion. They covered approximately 25% of my face.

DJ and Julie thought they've lost the Urkel, but to no avail. Ug asks Steve why he talks like Mickey Mouse, and my, she's a rude little brat isn't she? He says it's because he's from Chicago. Stephanie says she doesn't feel like having company, so Steve herds the girls out. He hangs behind to give her a pep talk about the wonders of spectacles. He says that in a class of 30, "there may be 15 or 20 misguided souls" who'll mock her glasses. Heh.

Jesse tries sucking up to Danny by offering to go clean grout with him. Danny knows he's just trying to be nice, and Jesse calls Joey into the room. He says he made a mistake and should have asked both of them to be his best men to begin with. They're mondo stoked that neither one has to be the dreaded head usher.

At school, Stephanie's teacher totally calls her out at Silent Reading time by announcing to the class that she got new glasses. After being put on center stage, Steph tries to deflect the attention off of her new glasses by busting out some joke glasses and making light of the situation before anyone can mock her. Her teacher gets pissed and it's like, come on lady, you know how kids are. Let her do what she needs to to save face.

Michelle's hunting for change in the sofa and finds a stale ass cheeto that she eats. Ewwww, gross. She hears the ice cream truck and desperately tries to get her money out. Dj tells her that she's supposed to be saving, not spending, and tells her there's some fudgsicles in the freezer. She whines that it's not the same. Fuck you bitch, I love fudgsicles! Joey comes in asking if he heard the ice cream truck, and DJ tells him that he just missed them. She also offers up the fudgsicles, and he complains that it's not the same.

Joey pops his head into Stephanie's room to see what she's up to. She's writing lines for school that read: "I will not disrupt the class." Joey asks what that's all about and she says she wanted to beat the kids to the punch and make it so she was laughing with them, and they weren't laughing at her. She tells him he can get his joke glasses back at the end of the school year. Joey makes her take a good look at herself in the mirror and shows her that she doesn't look that terrible, and that glasses give her an air of maturity.

I dunno, I still think those frames are pretty fug.


colleenn said...

Stephanie's glasses really were hideous.

And I can still hear Michelle saying "all right a nickel! all right a cheeto!" in my head. And shaking her piggy bank and saying "gimme back my money you pig" and trying to be cute but just coming across as really annoying.

When I was younger I used to get so annoyed at DJ in this epiosde. For some reason I grew up pronouncing "fudgesicle" with the "s" being silent. Is this Boston/Northeast thing or was it just a my-parents-only sort of thing? In any case, hearing DJ say "fudge-sicle" drove me insane. :)

kelly said...

I am going to be late for work today because I feel compelled to read more of these episode summaries! These are fantastic.

michelle said...

"At school, Stephanie's teacher totally calls her out at Silent Reading time by announcing to the class that she got new glasses."

That's kinda weird, isn't it??

And yes, I remember the nickel and cheeto comments too...annoying...and super gross

kiki williams said...

Ok, like all of you guys, I also hate on Michelle. But the cheeto thing was pretty funny.

Also, for the longest time, I said "fudgicle" too!! (grew up in Minnesota...)

Fear Street said...

This was one of my favorite episodes...

" I can't say that my first pair was really at the height of fashion. They covered approximately 25% of my face."

Mine too! Mine were these ugly pink ones. I don't know what I was thinking when I chose them...

Michelle will eat a stale Cheeto but not a fudgsicle? That's just wrong.

MilkMan said...

My first pair of glasses were at least thin gold wire frames with tortoise shell accents on the side (to compliment my red hair), so while they weren't too stylin' and profilin' they were much better than those horn-rimmed owl-esque monstrosity on Steph's face. The lenses were just huge.

I didn't even consider the irony in Michelle enjoying a stale Cheeto and turning her nose up at a fudgicle/fudgsicle, but now that you mention it, heh.

[small voice] I too found the Cheeto line to be funny, kikiwilliams [/small voice]. That's actually why I used it as the blog title. Hey, even a broken clock's right twice a day. They had to give Ug a funny line at least once.

snappleaddict said...

My first glasses were small purple rounded rectangle ones. I remember my friends made fun of me because they were small instead of the huge ass ones they all had. My second pair were gigantic ones that were pink and purple speckled wire rims with gold roses on the sides. Sexy!

Stephanie so could've had better frames, though. If I had those little purple ones in 1994, she could've had some stylish ones, too. She looked like freaking Harry Potter.

Yeah, the Michelle line was kind of funny, but I think it was negated by the fact that everything else she said or did was completely annoying.

veronica said...

I remember the Cheeto/give me back my money, you pig! bit perfectly. I will still be able to recall it perfectly on my deathbed, i'm sure.

but wait - does that mean that my dying thoughts will be of michelle? god i hope not.

anyway, i remember this episode because of urkel. i liked family matters almost as much as full house, so i used to get superduper excited when this episode came on. Urkel, you are just too cool.

Anonymous said...

they played the same roles in B and J's first and second wedding

metamorphstorm said...

I was ten years old, grade 5 (I remember it well) when I got my first pair of glasses. I remember being upset because I didn't want to have to wear a pair of glasses all the time and thinking I'd be teased (since I watched "Arthur" and that Francine brat could be cruel) and anyway, I'd already endured eye surgery, so why did I have to LOOK as bad off as I was? When I finally did get my glasses and got over the nervousness of going back to school in glasses, I ended up popular! Everyone babied me and I had tons of friends. Ha! I still don't know how I got that lucky...