"Steph, do you have a rebuttal?" "No... but you should hear my side of this!" or Take My Sister, Please (5.3)

Kimmy and DJ are up in DJ and Stephanie's shared room doing homework with... SQUEEE! DAVID LASCHER! That hunk of hunks from "Hey Dude" and "Sabrina the Teenage Witch"! Man, he's a fox, how on earth did they snag him for this 3 minute role? And why didn't they pursue him as a recurring character?



Anyway, superhunk David Lascher is portraying Rick, and sadly, we won't ever see him again following this brief exchange. While doing work with DJ and Kimmy, he tells DJ about the debut of a new roller coaster, the Squirminator and insinuating that he'd like to take a ride with Deej. Stephanie has to come in and totally cockblock DJ by saying that she barfs on roller coasters. Rick's sufficiently turned off and peaces out of there almost immediately. Man, if I was DJ I would beat the shit out of Steph for ruining my chances with David Lascher. She is obviously pissed and bitches Stephanie out, telling her that she's tired of her intrusions.

Meanwhile, Jesse comes home bearing a plethora of chips for Becky. He has obtained every type of potato chip known to man... that is every kind except the chips with ridges. Naturally, those were the ones that Becky wanted because they cause for optimum bean dip scoopability. Cue the prego moodswings. They're setting up the living room for Becky's childbirth class and she invites Joey and Danny to stay and they scoff until they catch a look at the babelicious lamaze instructor Lisa Green, played by Nurse Jennifer from "Saved By the Bell." I'm confused as to how old she is as she played a potential love interest to both Zack Morris and these two fools. I checked her IMDB page and she's apparently 42, and was 35/36 when she was on SBTB and FH. The more you knowwwww...

She tells them they need to be pregnant to attend class, and rather than point out that it's his house, Danny just makes up some cheesy flirtatious line. Joey does some Daffy Duck impression and she laughs. Jesse mutters something about good luck on making a choice between those winners. DJ comes down talking about her biggest crisis this week.

DJ launches into a presentation of "My Own Room: Together we can make it happen." It involves such points as Stephanie's constant interruptions (which she demonstates by interjecting her own comments mid-presentation), and the fact that DJ is in High school, whereas Stephanie and Michelle are both in elementary school, as they share a school, DJ reasons that they should share a room. Her final point is that Stephanie and Michelle are now the same exact ages that DJ and Stephanie were when they first moved into the same room together. Joey is blown away, and compares it to how Kennedy had a secretary named Lincoln and Lincoln had a secretary named Kennedy and before he can continue, Jesse asks how it's possible that he can dress himself every day.

Stephanie is in her room lamenting to Comet that no one wants to live with her. Comet barks in response and she thanks him for the offer to move into the dog house with him. Hey now Steph, don't read too much into that bark.

Down at the birthing class, they are doing breathing exercises and using focus objects and Jesse tries to get Becky to use an Elvis doll and she refuses and instead he dangles what appears to be a giant roasted turkey leg in front of her face. Danny and Joey are still vying for Lisa's attentions and Danny boasts that if he seems experienced about child birthing it's because he's been through 4 births, his 3 daughters and his own. Joey pipes in that he cried when Fred and Wilma had Pebbles and does a Fred Flinstone-esque sob. And like, fucking really? You cried at that? Loser. Danny tries to impress Lisa with an impersonation of Tom the Mouse from "Tom & Jerry." Joey corrects him that Tom was the cat and that neither one ever spoke. Danny simply tells Joey "Get a life." Well played, Tanner.

Danny finally concedes defeat to Joey and acknowledges that they're actually kind of perfect for one another and I think Danny should consider himself lucky. This lady seems like a wack job. She says she'd love to go out for pizza with Joey whenever class is over... and then promptly ends class. Wow, way to let all the prego's get their money's worth. If I was all crazy pregnant and hormonal, I would cut a bitch for gypping me out of something I paid for.

It's snack time, aka Prego feeding time at the Tanner zoo. The ladies begin devouring the chips and bean dip and Becky suddenly has a craving for seedless watermelon. Jesse reasons that it's out of season and he'd have to drive all the way to Mexico for it, and she simply replies, "You have a car." God, I never want to be pregnant. I already have enough crazy in my life. Becky launches into a full-fledge hormonal crying fit and everyone, men and women, turns on Jesse. Becky asks Jesse if she's going to be normal again someday and he mutters, "I hope so." Me too, Jess. Pregnant hormonal Becky is not fun viewing.

Stephanie has now moved into the bathroom and Danny comes in and starts questioning whether or not his decision to change up the living arrangements might have been a bit premature. DJ panics at the prospect of losing her very own bedroom that she's been campaigning for for years, and asks Danny for some privacy to talk to Stephanie about it. DJ explains that Steph was a great roommate but she's older and really needs her own privacy. Stephanie concedes and they go to take on the UgSnot. DJ manages to sell Ug on living with Stephanie fairly easily, once they have Stephanie apologize for calling Michelle a "Kindergarten Baby" and they begin arguing about who's the boss, and DJ herds them out of the room and collapses onto the bed, basking in the glory of finally having her very own room.