Monday, January 21, 2008

Scott Baio is 28... and guest starring on "Full House" or Dr. Dare Rides Again (3.9)

Danny and Becky are preparing to go cover fashion week in Los Angeles, leaving the girls in the care of Jesse & Joey. It is inevitable that hijinks will ensue. Joey is already off to a great start making incredibly gross looking messy ice cream sundaes. Stephanie feeds Michelle's to Comet (Ha!) which unfortunately leads to UgTot's ever so "hilarious" mispronounciation of "owce cweam."

The doorbell rings and Joey leaves to answer it. The studio audience (or at least the sound machine that plays the audience noises) goes wild when the door is opened and the 1980s stud of studs Scott Baio is standing there. He asks for Jesse and Joey tells him that he's in the kitchen "with the girls." Joey leads him to the kitchen where Uncle J is leading the girls in a rousing rendition of "The Farmer in the Dell." Obviously these weren't the kind of girls Scott had in mind. He joins in the sing-along and thoroughly busts on Jess for this display. Jesse is ecstatic to be reunited with his good pal of yore, Pete Bianco, and explains how they met fighting over a set of twins until they realized that duh, there were two of them.

Pete just returned from Europe and is in town to relive the glory days. He refers to Jesse as Dr. Dare, a nickname he received for never turning down a dare. Pete challenges Jesse to keep up with him for 2 days. Cut to the two guys going hog wild with a sing-along of "Louie Louie" in Jesse's room. They don't even know the words aside from the chorus, and I totally scoff at the notion that they're legit musicians. I mean, I don't know the words per say, but if I was a musician and was planning to sing it, you can bet your ass I'd google that shit first. The music obviously wakes the girls up and we're "treated" to an UgTot dance.

Jesse tells Joey that him and Pete are riding up to Lake Tahoe, but to not worry because they'll be back for the party they're throwing. There's a dumb scene in which they persuade Michelle to forgive Comet the puppy for eating her "owce cweam." Ugh. If only he ate her face. After that boring transitionary scene, the party kicks off at the Tanner's. Danny and Pete go back and forth boring all of the party-goers with tales of their youthful indiscretions. A 90s-Hot (not to be confused with actually hot, just a chick who was probably considered hot for this particular time era) blonde is in attendance and Joey tries to hit on her until she reveals herself as Donna, Jesse's old girlfriend.

The guys' old band, "Feedback" is back together for one night only, and I recognize the drummer as one of the guys reincarnated in The Rippers. They begin singing "Shout" and Baio's lip-synching the deep bass voice part is painfully obvious. Like, put a little effort into creating the illusion there, Scotty. Joey somehow convinces everyone in the party to partake in some ridiculously idiotic dance moves, including "The Alligator." Stephanie is horrified and asks D.J. if she's ever seen anything like this dance before. D.J. awesomely quips, "Once, when a bee flew into Dad's shorts."

Jesse begins dancing with Donna a bit and wouldn't you know that Becky and Danny choose that exact moment to walk into the house. Whoops! Becky is obviously PISSED, and her and Danny are rocking some seriously dated Fashionista makeovers. Somehow they managed to slick back Bob Saget's not very longish hair into a greasy ponytail. He asks the girls what they think of their "new rad, bad Dad." No comment. Becky and Danny volunteer to put the girls to bed, and Becky suggests that Jesse say goodnight to Donna.

Pete then pulls out a videotape of Jesse playing out one of his Dr. Dare fantasies by riding a motorcyle along the edge of a building. Does anyone else find it a little weird that Pete's just carrying around a home movie of his friend? Just me then? Pete engages in a little good-natured ribbing, but it gets Jesse's panties in a twist and he leaves to go recreate his stunt flogged by his groupies. Becky comes downstairs and Joey fills her in on what happened and they go to stop him.

On top of the roof, Becky manages to talk Jesse out of the stunt and her, Joey and Pete all take turns hitting Jesse on the arm for being a total dumbass. It's at this point, after Jesse nearly kills himself attempting another stunt, that Pete tells Jesse that he's more sensible now and that he has a good thing going now, and he loves him even if he's more Dr. Seuss than Dr. Dare. He affectionately refers to him as a "Dirtbucket Filthball" and it's adios to Pete Bianco, Jesse's "best friend" who will never be heard from again.

Back at the house, Jesse is in his bedroom and D.J. enters to talk to him. Christ, what time of night is it that she's still up? She tells him that she's glad he didn't go through with his crazy stunt and says that sometimes, "it takes more courage to say no." Jesse, that self-indulgent ego-maniac, asks where D.J. learned such sage advice, knowing full well that he was the one who told her. She says goodnight and leaves Jesse alone in his room where he plays a rocking guitar riff and smirks to himself that he's still got it.

1 comment:

Vani B. said...

Groan. UgTroll is such a moron getting mad at a baby animal that doesn't know any better.

Incidentally, I was angrier at Stephanie during the "owce cweam" scene, not because she tricked the Ug into looking away so Comet could eat her ice cream, but because she gave the ice cream to Comet in the first place. It's common knowledge among dog owners that chocolate is bad for dogs (in fact, it's been known to kill certain breeds) and dairy products like ice cream can cause worms.

Sorry, just have a real soft spot for dogs and puppies. And given that info, the writers very well could have gone without that stupid "owce cweam" scene. Ugh.