Tuesday, March 18, 2008

"You're the best thing to come into my life since Spray'N'Wash!" or Lust in the Dust (3.15)

Jesse and Joey are working on an ad campaign for sardines. They feel that in order to convey the voice of a sardine, one must become one with the sardine... and chow down. Neither one is willing to (and can you blame them? My dad and sister were all about sardines, but they just gross me out so much! Yecch!) Joey pops on in Jesse's mouth and Jesse says he's going to kill him. They look for Joey's tape recorder which Michelle has hidden, because she's a fugass brat who likes to hide other people's things. Jesse has developed an affinity for sardines and continues chowing down. DJ comes in with the tape recorder which Ug hid in her cereal box.

Just then Danny walks in, he broke off his date with Joan/June/Jane-what's-her-name because one of her earlobes was bigger than the other. Clearly it was a true love connection, if something like that can derail it. Not to mention the fact that the rest of the family can't even remember her name. Brutal.

Karen, Stephanie's dance teacher, drops Steph off at home, saying that it wasn't a problem and it was on her way. Karen is played by the same actress who played Becky's sister Connie. Danny asks Steph what she learned in class today and she says that he still owes Karen a check for her lessons. Bwah! Karen also reminds Stephanie that she learned some killer new dance moves, which she shows off to the musical stylings of Bobby Brown and "My Prerogative." Danny tries to join in and his rhythmically challenged ways are comedy gold. Stamos looks like he's trying to fight back real laughter as he tells him that sometimes grace and coordination skip a generation.

Michelle does some stupid Ug shimmy dance, and Danny and Karen join in doing the modified form of the twist. DJ and Stephanie pick up on the flirtatious vibes between Danny and Karen and scheme to get them together after noting that her earlobes are the same size. They invite her to stay for lunch and the entire family bails so that the two budding lovebirds can be left alone. They light a candle as the finishing touch.

Danny says that he had nothing to do with this set-up but then confesses that he's had a crush on her ever since Stephanie started taking dance classes. Karen then confesses that their house isn't really on her way home. They kiss, and the girls cheer. They decide to turn this into a real date and get some dim sum (yum!). Karen loves dim sum too and Danny says they should get some. He's stoked to get some dim sum and I think that dim sum might be Danny Tanner code for poonanny.

Jesse's searching his room for his keys. Apparently he's the only one in the band who can unlock their rehearsal space. He calls the girls into interrogate them. Both DJ and Steph are clueless, so it's clear that Ug's the culprit. Didn't she already do this hiding shit back when she hid Mr. Bear? Way to recycle an unfunny story line there, writers. She reveals that she hid other items belonging to DJ and Steph (a Milli Vanilli tape and sparkly pen, respectively), and Jesse's growing impatient (and a beard) waiting for Michelle to get around to retrieving his keys.

Meanwhile, Danny and Karen are coming back from their date singing a doo-wop version of "Blue Moon." She invites him into her apartment for some coffee (ie: SEX! Looks like Danny really is going to get sum!) where it's revealed that she's a total slob. Karen weakly says that she's been so busy with work that she hasn't had time to tidy up. And like, chill Danny, we can't all be obsessive compulsive neatfreaks. They sit down to coffee and Danny can't resist the urge to clean up her apartment. He even goes so far as to fold her laundry whilst making out with Karen. If that's not a deal-breaker, I dunno what is. Karen tells him that he needs to hit up over-cleaners anonymous, and so much word. Danny can't get over the mess and says that they don't have so much in common after all and peaces, leaving a forlorn Karen standing in the middle of her messy apartment. My mom would go nuts for this episode, she's constantly telling me no man will put up with my messy apartment. Cockblocked!

Jesse and the girls are still interrogating Michelle about the whereabouts of Jesse's keys. Ug's stubbornly insisting that she had nothing to do with it, and DJ and Steph start to wonder whether or not she actually did take them. Just then, Joey comes in toting more sardines for Jesse and reveals that he left his keys in the door. Jesse can't believe it and apologizes to Michelle. Yawn.

Danny comes home from his date and says he had a nice time but won't be seeing Karen again. DJ and Steph are bummed but confident that they know enough single women to find a love match for Danny. They leave to go make a list and Jesse and Joey aren't done with Danny yet. They follow him into the kitchen and ask what excuse he made up to justify ending this budding relationship. Danny says that she was a slob and launches into a description of his messy apartment. J&J basically tell him to get over himself and stop trying to find the perfect woman because she doesn't exist (um, hello? I'm right here! (I keed, I keed)). They reminds him that even Pam had her flaws, she was always late, but Danny overlooked it because he loved her. J&J manage to convince Danny to go back and give Karen another chance.

He arrives in her apartment and starts apologizing about freaking out over the mess, and then realizes that the apartment is now clean. She tells him that she actually does know how to clean, and says that he was being anal retentive and he really wants to give their relationship another shot. Too bad we're totally never going to see Karen again. Sucks, I actually liked her and Danny together. I don't think any woman other than Caroline, Cindy and Vicki lasted more than an episode as Danny's love interest, and aside from Vicki, the other women I think only got a two-episode arc. Lame. Poor Danny Tanner needed to get laid on a regular basis.


michelle said...

Isn't there another episode of FH where Michelle hides something (of Jesse's maybe?) in the cookie jar or am I crazy?

MilkMan said...

No you're not crazy. At the end, after Jesse finds out that she didn't take his keys and she left them in the door, and after him and Joey give Danny the pep talk, he can't find the keys again and this time, Ug stuck them in the cookie jar. Man, she sucks.

The Awkward Girl said...

"Poor Danny Tanner needed to get laid on a regular basis."

Ain't it the truth. He probably would have been much less tense...

P.S. Your blog rocks.

michelle said...

Thanks for clarifying!!

colleenn said...

I am supposed to ask you about your Holy Cross friend mentioned on the BSC blog. :) I tried to find a more private way of asking you rather than a comment but I couldn't figure one out. But if you'd rather not publicly post your friend's name, etc. in a blog feel free to drop me an email (colleenn at gmail).

And to make this at least somewhat FH related, I wanted to say that I think it's really impressive that you can recall that Steph's dance teacher is same actress who played Becky's sister and things like that. I've never noticed that before.